i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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