so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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