Have you finally orgasmed yet?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
