Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
