She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I want to fling myself into the sun
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
