i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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