I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
