I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
