Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
