remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
