we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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