My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
