If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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