Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
