also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
