Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
