i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
