I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize