YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
