do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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