Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
