I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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