i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She bit a glass in half.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
