Plan B is the new Plan A
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
