this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
this is an emotional support booty call
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize