my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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