Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...

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(586): View more from Michigan

Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?

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(734): View more from Michigan

i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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(509): View more from Washington

Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.

(406): View more from Montana

IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year

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(847): View more from Illinois

i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.

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(804): View more from Virginia

New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.

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