hotel room ftw
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
