wat bout pragnant strippers??
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
