I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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