so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
