i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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