I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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