who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize