I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
