I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
