Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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