Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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