It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
