I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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