Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
