We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
