You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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