He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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