So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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