Swine flu. Run for my life!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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