i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
