Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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