Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
