hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
