man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
