He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
