dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
