My sheets look like a crime scene.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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