walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
