THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pants are for mortals
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