Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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