I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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