i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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