If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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