Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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