Im at strip club and am horny
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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