who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize