Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
