Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
