I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize