don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
