May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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