We're facebook friends in real life
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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