who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
